Penelope

Cursed With a Face Only a Sow Could Love

“Cinderella” meets “The Ugly Duckling” in “Penelope,” a muddled, charm-free fairy tale whose title character, played by Christina Ricci, is a rich girl born with the snout of a pig. The movie’s fundamental flaws begin with Penelope’s appearance. She is supposed to be so hideous that potential suitors dive out of the windows of her family’s London mansion at the first sight of her. After an encounter one greedy twit, Edward Vanderman (Simon Woods), goes to the newspapers with a tale of being attacked by a fanged monster, but nobody believes him. »

"Penelope" looks like a whimsical, quirky little fairy tale and, every once in a while, sounds like a whimsical, quirky little fairy tale. There's even an obvious but always welcome lesson to be learned here. But there's no real rigor or craft applied to this story -- just mood, tone, neo-gothic imagery and frantic attitude. If only "Penelope" knew what it truly wished to be and how to go about it. Which is probably what this overly coy fantasy's modestly appealing title character wishes as well. »

On the shelf for two years and deserving of a mercy killing, this modern fairy tale stars Christina Ricci (get this girl a good movie, pronto) as Penelope, an heiress born with the snout of a pig. The love of another snob can cure her, but her suitors run away in horror, which is stupid, since she's as cute as Miss Piggy. A pre-Atonement James McAvoy steps up to the plate to pay off his debts and, of course, finds true love. Director Mark Palansky wishes he was Tim Burton. So will you, because even with producer Reese Witherspoon showing up in a cameo, Penelope is dead on arrival. »